Introduction
Throughout my whole life I have been a part of and identified with American Conservative Christian culture. Reared in an ultra-conservative branch of Christianity, I earned every award possible from the Awana program at my church and graduated from a nationally known Fundamentalist Baptist university with no demerits on my record. I was a perfect product of that culture in mind, body, and spirit.
Since then I have looked beyond my ultra-conservative roots, found a many more Christians in the world than I was ever led to believe existed, and explored other expressions of the conservative faith. From Charismatic to Episcopal, from Evangelical to Anglican. Over these last three decades, as I traversed this rich landscape, I have experienced a growing suspicion that I was not the only one who was moving. I came to understand that the very foundations of American Christian Culture were also shifting in various directions, pulling away from a shared common ground and becoming more and more polarized.
Over the last few years, this transformation has accelerated to the point where I often no longer recognize once familiar ideologies, organizations and relationships. This website is written in the hopes that I am not the only one who has felt this shift, this hardening of positions. I hope that others see the treasures being abandoned in the valley as various factions move into mountain fortifications to build vast, hollow echo chambers of their own ideology.
If you, like me, feel as if the two great nation-states of Republican and Democrat have invaded your community and carried off, in one direction or another, many of the once peaceful population. Then I hope you find some solace in the fact that you are not the only one who, looking around their smoldering village, is wondering what's going on.
If you are one of those who find themselves being carried away, wound tight with the fear of "the other side" and what you are told they wish to take away from you, but you still wonder how you got where you are, then I hope you will find here the steps back down the mountain, away from those ideological fortifications and echo chambers of recursive self-indulgence.
In the broadest of strokes three unavoidable facts can help us start a new conversation. A conversation that has its beginning in what we know about our human condition and builds from there. This site is not, primarily, a theological treatise. There are already thousands of those, all of the various quality and scholarship, but none of them seem to be helping. Instead, this site will focus on humanity and what we can know about ourselves and how that impacts our relationship with a high and holy God. To do this, it seems best to start by acknowledging the fact that we are not all right.
We are not alright
We all know that things are not as they should be. And while this realization does not make us unique from all of those who have found themselves humans living among other humans, the fact that we instinctually know that there is a better state to be wished for points to something in our basic human reasoning that should not be suppressed or ignored. There is something within us that knows that there are circumstances better, more suitable for flourishing than the ones we experience every day. So, while our current situation as a global race is, historically, quite satisfactory compared to previous generations, that does not mean that we cannot imagine better, or ignore the populations on our globe that still experience the heavy weight of poverty, oppression, and injustice. We are beneficiaries of the work of others before us who imagined and improved the human condition despite their current, sometimes horrific, conditions and acted on those impulses to find ways to push human civilization forward.
So to say that we are not alright is not a statement of particular defeatism but simply an acknowledgment of the fact that we can do better as a species regardless of our race, beliefs, or location. Truth demands this recognition and our humanity demands the dissatisfaction that spurs the imagination. To better our lot is one of our defining human traits.
And while we will always live with the great mystery of the faith that culminates in Parousia. We must not be convinced to give up on this present world simply because things are not going our way and we know that a better one is coming. In Scripture, Christ's return is looked for with longing but never passivity. On the contrary, we are specifically instructed not to look for it but instead to focus our attention on those we find ourselves among.
We are not alright, but this should spur us to find common cause with our fellow man who is also not alright and work with them to create a better environment for the flourishing of individuals and communities all while showing them the source of peace and love that endures in the midst of pain and a hope that passes logical explanation.
We are not all correct
It is statistically impossible for all of us to be 100% correct about our views of God, society, and ourselves. A healthy part of introspection is skepticism about our ability to be right. We must always be open to facts, truth and correction.
This inward-facing skepticism is not the enemy of faith. It should instead be the instigator of it. This is because faith, duty, and honor do not stand in opposition to facts or truth and should not be twisted in ways that stunt the growth and natural progression of reason in the human mind. They should instead be the platform from which we launch our explorations. It is because we have faith that we are not afraid to ask challenging questions of ourselves; that we are not afraid to be wrong. It is because we have a duty to our community that we seek what is best for them. It is because we have honor that we conduct ourselves in ethical ways.
We are not all right and that is a beautiful thing that should create in us an impulse to listen, process, and collaborate. Not out of a desire for conformity or group think but out of a knowledge that we are not the sole arbitrators of truth. So, while we have convictions, we also realize that others have theirs as well. Our personal view is not the sole arbiter of our reality.
Because of this, the thoughts and ideas contained in these pages are not truth unchallengeable. They are not meant to convince totally but only to spark new thoughts and perspectives that may be helpful, inspiring, provoking, or comforting. May any disagreements you have with what you find here help you, at the very least, understand that there are other viewpoints that you can respect but not agree with.
We are not all right
The definition of right and left in any sphere of human thought, religion, or politics is never absolute and, in reality, the terms are so vague that they becomes impossible for any individual or group to legitimately lay claim to them as an identity.
Take for example three families A, B, and C. All three of them consider themselves to be right-wing, conservative Christian, who have a deep interest in preserving traditional American values and wish to leave for their children and grandchildren a legacy of solid moral guidance that will lead them to a better life lived “the right way.” All three of these families hold to these convictions with an assuredness that is reinforced by the teachings of their church and the norms of their community.
Family A holds to the importance of strong family values, they are anti-abortion and believe that a man and a woman should wait until marriage to have sex. Their children go to a good public school and they worry about the influence this has on them so they counterbalance this with regular church attendance and strong participation in youth group and Sunday School.
When Family B talks to their children about liberal, worldly Christians who are not living Biblically, they use Family A as an example. Family B believes that any form of physical intimacy before marriage beyond holding hands is sinful. They doubt that anyone who drinks alcohol is a committed Christian and they send their children to a small Christian school where they know they will not be taught things like evolution or be made to read contemporary literature. There are many aspects of contemporary culture that are forbidden by their church and school. This includes going to see movies in a theater and listening to music that has a heavy, syncopated beat. Family B sees themselves as defending themselves against worldliness and protecting the purity, modesty, and innocence of their children.
Family C recognizes this sentiment but faults Family B for not going far enough and they do not even acknowledge the salvation of Family A at all. For Family C the father is the unquestioned head of the house who will choose husbands for his daughters. Their church heavily dictates their appearance, activities, and beliefs. They homeschool their children and only recognize one translation of the Bible as a valid. Any science that casts doubt on the Scriptures is rejected. They wear their separation from those around them as a badge of honor and see the very existence of outside culture as a persecution and an infringement on their right to practice their religion. They are certain that one day God will judge all of those around them and they look forward to that day when they will be taken from this earth.
Note that the above examples are for illustrative purposes only. Reality is far more complex. One family can encompass aspects from each of these examples, and a great deal more not listed.
Each one of these families holds to the term “right” as an important aspect of their identity. Indeed, each family sees themselves as a defender of the true expression of that identity and they deny it to the other families. Family C sees Family B and A as left-leaning liberals who are responsible for the corruption of Christianity and they are actively taught to abhor such people and have nothing to do with them. It is this search for purity and the belief that it can be obtained that drives American Christian Culture to "the right". But, in fact, this is an illusory goal because, no matter where you believe you stand in your true expression of conservative, correct beliefs there is always a person or group with a legitimate reason to deny you your claim. There is always a purer expression to be sought after, a more stringent interpretation, a more valid reason to break with the rest of humanity.
The point is not that identifying as right or left is wrong. It is important to be able to know and understand your beliefs, morals, and ethics relative to those around you. The problem, the corrosiveness, comes when we are convinced that our place on the continuum is the only legitimate expression of these beliefs, morals, and ethics and are encouraged to view others who hold different views as un-pure, un-saved, and un-American. When this happens we are broken into self-referential groups and pushed into tribalism. The very opposite of what it takes to form a functioning, democratic society.
Conclusion
As I have made my journey from the edge of Conservative Christian Culture I have moved away from some things and toward others. While some will describe this as a linear move between the two opposites of left and right it has instead, been a movement toward a direction that has neither of these points as a destination. Not a dead, neutral point of no opinion, but a point that can not be called one or the other.
Writing this last section has brought to my mind a stanza of Leonard Cohen's Democracy and it seems to sum up my point for me in a very complete and personal way.
I'm sentimental, if you know what I mean
I love the country but I can't stand the scene
And I'm neither left or right
I'm just staying home tonight
Getting lost in that hopeless little screen
But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags
That time cannot decay
I'm junk but I'm still holding up
This little wild bouquet
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A
So, as our little screens get smaller and our hopelessness seems to grow larger please consider this site my little wild bouquet.
Sincerely,
Abecedarian